Sarah Harding Speaks For The First Time About The Troubles That Landed Her In Rehab

In October this year Sarah Harding admitted herself into rehab after suffering a personal struggle with alcohol and depression.

The Girls Aloud star claims her life started spiralling out of control when her relationship with her ex-fiancé, Tom Crane, disintegrated and she started turning to alcohol to numb the pain.

In a recent interview with Hello! magazine, for the first time, Sarah has spoken about her troubles and her stint in the US clinic.

When speaking about the day she left for rehab she described herself as a complete ‘mess’, she said:

“I've been told by those close to me that was when I hit my worst. I was crying hysterically. I felt ashamed, embarrassed, terrified - my emotions were all over the place."

Sarah made it obvious that one of the main reasons for her depression and alcohol addiction was down to the fact her relationship with Tom was falling apart. She said:

"He had his career, I had mine, and somehow they didn't seem to marry up. As far as our future plans were concerned, I didn't see how it would work. I was so down but I just tried to keep busy and, to numb myself, I was drinking more. It was my way of escaping. Our lives had started to go in different directions without us even realising and we'd become like passing ships.

Sarah explained that when going through her torment she was bouncing between two emotional extremes as her party lifestyle started to develop as a mechanism to cope with being so down. She said her "emotions were all over the place" saying that:

 "One minute I was deliriously happy, to the point of hysteria, and totally in denial about my problems saying, 'I'm fine, I'm fine.' The next it hit me and when it did, it hit me hard. It's all about acceptance."

Sarah claims that it was her bandmates who noticed she needed help. Sarah explains that one night while the girls were having dinner together, bandmates Kimberly Walsh and Nicola Roberts spoke to her and made her realise that she had a problem.

Sarah claims that after a night out celebrating after appearing in a fashion show, instead of taking it easy the next day, she carried on drinking and partying.

Sarah said:

"The following night, I saw Nicola and Kimberley for dinner. I wasn't in a good state at all - I was very hungover. But the first thing I wanted to do was open a bottle of wine. I know they were really worried about me."

Sarah obviously made the right decision by going to rehab, as she now says that she feels she has now turned things around.

She says:

"I've turned 30 now and, although there will always be a bit of the rock chick in me, I'm trying to embrace my softer and more feminine side. And I am trying really hard to be healthy. I have met up with friends in London since I got back and I've realised I can socialise without booze." 

Good for you Sarah! Keep it up!